When I was pregnant with my twins, I was given advice to ALWAYS speak of them as "the boys" or "the girls" or "the kids" and NEVER "the twins." That, I soon discovered, allowed both children to be their own persons and identify with the twin bond to the extent THEY wanted to. My boys were quite different from each other right "out the hatch", their different looks making seeing each as an individual easier right away. They DO have a closer bond as siblings, and definitely having the younger one end up transgendered has been quite the adjustment. But, again, expectations really have no place in child-rearing - except to teach children we as parents expect them to do their best; excellentism is a far better philosophy than perfectionism. I expected them to put forth their best efforts and be contented with the results/consequences of that, only showing disappointment when I knew they sloughed off and didn't try their best.

This is very good.